Mindfulness &

how to be aware in an unaware world

Tag: character

  • Principles

    Principles

    At the same time as writing this new post, I began a popular challenge called 75 Hard about two weeks ago.

    The challenge is to go 75 Days doing specific tasks that will turn into habits after about day 66 (according to James Clear – author of Atomic Habits).

    I modified the original version to my liking with a great app called ‘75 Days Challenge’ which is among many that serve the same purpose. The habits I have set out to ingrain over the next 61 days are:

    • Do a small act of kindness
    • Meditate for at least 10 minutes
    • Do a workout routine (30 push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, and squats)
    • Read for at least 20 minutes
    • Write a full page journal entry
    • Cook a healthy meal
    • No Buy Challenge (only purchase necessary consumables)

    As I began and modified this challenge, I came across a set of principles that I would like to guide me. Those principles are the building blocks of character, and so this post is all about that intersection. 

    Defined through the lens of mindfulness, character takes on a deeper meaning: the consistent outward and inward expression of virtues in right thought, emotion, and action.

    To be consciously aware of how and why our inner self impacts our outer actions is no easy task. It is in fact a very rare task, especially consistently. 

    What this looks like day to day is someone who habitually responds to life’s ups and downs with clarity, integrity, responsibility and compassion rather than judgment, reactivity, and impulse.

    Meditation, when paired with these subtle character choices, may just change our very being.

    Below are principles in mindfulness that can change the very nature of our egos, or as my mom likes to call it, edging God out.

    Intentional Choice:

    Mindfulness creates a small yet powerful space between stimulus and response. I want to yell at this person and I am yelling at this person or I want to buy this car and I am driving off the lot in this car.

    To be the backseat rider of our own emotions, sensations, and thoughts really is a super power. Most people live in a dream state, momentarily aware from time to time, but never fully awake.

    Take consumerism for example. Most people, including myself, fall victim to indulgent spending, racking up credit cards, not realizing all they have spent until they gawk at the bill.

    Self-awareness:

    To know oneself is to know the secrets of the universe. See your intentions, biases, and habits as they rise and fall without denial or distortion. Call them out in a kind and loving way. Write them down in order to see their frequency.

    We cannot know a mind that is clouded in judgement, especially towards ourselves.

    This takes a gentle practice of noting. All while being attentive to context and consequences.

    Ethical Presence:

    The practice of ethics was once very commonplace, but seen more than we recognize today: opening the door for someone, helping someone with their groceries, or my favorite, giving the endless gifts of a smile and a compliment.

    Ethical Principles such as kindness, honesty, and fairness exhibited each day, naturally, grow within us the seed of happiness.

    Happiness is when our thoughts, actions, and speech are in harmony.

    Emotional Regulation:

    Our character is not defined in the absence of difficult emotions, in fact, it is sharpened through them.

    Character is defined through meeting our emotions with steadiness and wisdom, rather than allowing them to dictate our behavior.

    Compassion & Interconnectedness:

    A character defined by mindful living recognizes the shared humanity of all living things. It forces us to act with empathy, care, respect, and yes, awareness (especially under stress, tiredness, or in conflict).

    I can’t think of a more mindful act than to be shown disagreement and yet still be warm and kind, unconcerned with right or wrong.

    And so, I think I’ll just leave it at that!

    Three More Things!

    1. Read – The 7 Principles of Mindfulness
    2. Listen – Wake Up / Wind Down Series 
    3. Watch – Poverty isn’t a lack of character
  • Reputation

    Reputation

    “Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, for your character is what you are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” – Dale Carnegie

    I love this quote for two reasons. The first is that reputation is a heavy-loaded word, surrounded by double meanings, and this simple definition of the word cuts through the bullshit – straight to the point.

    The second reason is more a subtle reminder, that our character is like a tree and our reputation is like its shadow (I believe Abraham Lincoln said that, and boy was his reputation on the line).

    Most of us are generally afraid to say something wrong, do something incorrect, or make an unpopular decision. Luckily, you can please some people some of the time, but you definitely can’t please all the people all of the time (I believe Bob Marley said that one, and boy, there weren’t a lot of people who didn’t like the guy).

    The human condition of fear keeps us from speaking out, tarnishing our reputation, but is it better to have a bad reputation doing the right thing or a good reputation doing nothing?

    This isn’t to say that a bad reputation can’t follow a bad person, it most certainly can. But it can also follow a good person doing the right thing. Sometimes we must make a choice Harry, between doing the right thing and doing the easy thing (I believe Dumbledore said that, and boy did he have his share of fictional but heart-wrenching choices).

    Caring for a reputation is like caring for a dead tree, it will only rot away in the end, our time wasting away with it. Caring for our character is like tending an already strong, capable, and beautiful tree, unconcerned with all the dead trees around us.

    Haters are like crickets. Crickets make a lot of noise, you can hear them but you can’t see them, and then right when you walk by, they go quiet. (Honestly, I have no idea who said that, only that I just remembered it).

    To be more concerned with our character than our reputation is no easy task, but it is only uncomfortable when we listen to the crickets.

    Where does our good counsel come from then? If listening to chirping crickets is a waste of time, then listening to good counsel must be the key.

    Mindfulness teaches us to listen openly and kindly – directing our character towards kindness, compassion, justice, and service.

    Doing the right thing, the hard thing is a matter of observation.

    Observe your friends, family, and members of your community – who stands out? Who is doing the hard things – standing up for what they believe in? Is the core message of kindness 

    Observe yourself – what doesn’t settle right with you? What difficult choices do you have in your life right now? What does your conscious tell you in difficult times?

    Breath deep

    Clear your conscious

    Proudly stand up for yourself – for you are worth it.

    Bodly stand up for others – for they are worth it.

    Dale hit the nail on the head when comparing reputation to thought – he was reminding us of a simple confusion in definition, unfortunately, common today.

    Only we know our character – that part of us that needs no approval. Only we can grow our roots with a clear conscience and good counsel. And only we can determine what is right and what is easy.