Mindfulness &

how to be aware in an unaware world

Tag: compassion

  • Home

    Home

    “For there we loved and where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.”
    – Oliver Wendell Holmes

    I jotted this quote down on my phone in a common area at the college library I used to attend in Nashville, Trevecca University.

    It was at least 7 years ago, and yet I remember it so well, standing in the open library foyer, right by the windows, pondering the words, considering how much they meant to me then and how much they will mean to me when I’m older. 

    After all my travels, I’ve found this urge from time to time to return home, or something that resembles home (a place, a person, a feeling). But each time, I remember that this “home” I seek is an illusion to me because I had no single place that I grew up.

    My heart belongs not to a border, city, town, or neighborhood, but to a people, the people of this country. Yet even that is inaccurate, for the Earth reserves my heart in its entirety, and its people are so diverse.

    My childhood was a rare and uncommon one. I was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, the most visually beautiful place I still claim as “home”, then moved around at a rate only few have experienced.

    North Carolina to Germany to Washington DC to Jordan to Oman to Tennessee to Missouri in 17 years (visiting many more places in between).

    Then, on my own this time, I moved to Nashville for college, staying in one place longer than I ever had before, 7 years. It was near the middle of this stay that I deeply questioned what “home” meant to me.

    I discovered a love to travel, sprouted in my youth, as well as a love for comfort and stability, rooted in my college years.

    I knew I had to choose one or the other, but I let the decision linger for another few years. Somewhere near the end of my senior year in college, I made a tiny decision that changed the course of my life.

    Sitting behind my laptop in my Marketing 101 Class, half listening to my professor telling me what I should do, I went online and did what I wanted to do. I ordered a credit card, bought a 40L backpack, and booked one-way flights to New York City, Boston, and Chicago in the middle of January.

    I didn’t have the money to pay for the trip, but I had the time to pay off a credit card.

    I didn’t have a clue of what I was doing, but I had a deep desire to just go.

    This trip would spark the ambition to see the world that set me on a course to discover not just the world but the very nature of discomfort and happiness.

    Today, home is much more than a physical place or even a specific community; it is a feeling that I can produce at any time and in any place.

    1. It begins with meditation, recognizing where I am and the fact that I am alive and well right here and now (awareness).
    2. It moves into an even deeper recognition that I am truly blessed, from the solid ground I sit upon to the air moving in and out of my lungs (gratitude).
    3. It carries into the rest of my day, the rest of my life, with the deepest recognition that I have all I need to step out of the ego, “I” and “Me” and “Mine”, and into unabashed service, expressing love at every turn (compassion).

    I encourage us to consider the place where we grew up or a place that holds special meaning in our lives.

    Does this place conjure any strong feelings or thoughts? What are they? Can we learn to detach from them?

    Thank you so much for reading this post on home and what it has meant to me over my short 30 years of life.

    If you found any value whatsoever in this post or other posts, please share this post. And if you feel so inclined, you may support me over at Buy Me A Coffee. Much love!

    Three More Things:

    1. A wonderful blog post on what home meant to someone else: Alison Motroni.
    2. Lessons on change, growth, detachment, and more from the influential Bhagavad Gita.
    3. Some great tips from Matt Kepnes on how to travel the world in a very reasonable and inexpensive way.
  • Kindness

    Kindness

    “Compassion has no limit and kindness has no enemy.”

    What comes to mind when you think of a compassionate act?

    What about a kind affirmation or encouragement?

    When bestowed upon you, how do compassion and kindness feel?

    Compassion and kindness are so similar that they often occupy the same space in the mind. A space that is essential to a healthy, happy life and needed every single day.

    Though they may seem synonymous and are necessary all the same, there is a difference between the two.

    Compassion is more about not wanting someone to suffer, not wanting someone to experience something negative and downtrodden.

    Kindness is more about wishing that someone was well, hoping that someone does experience something positive and uplifting.

    Equally, compassion and kindness must begin in ourselves, for ourselves.

    Self-compassion is not wanting ourselves to feel unhappy, struggle, or have difficulty in our body, mind, and situations aka tender loving care (so we do the things that make this a reality).

    Self-kindness is wishing ourselves well, telling ourselves that we are able, we are content, we are happy, and we are good aka affirmations (so we say the things that make this a reality).

    Both are self-fulfilling prophecies (it sounds cliche, but it is resoundingly true).

    If we wish to be more kind to others, we must speak kindly to ourselves.

    If we wish to be more compassionate to others, we must show compassion to ourselves.

    What we feed the mind is also key (equally cliche, but needed now more than ever).

    When we feed the mind with sustaining and nourishing things, we speak with kindness, move with gentleness, encourage others, and overall feel amazed with ourselves.

    On the other hand, when we feed the mind degrading and rotten things, we will speak with malice and spite, move with angst and anger, discourage others, and overall feel like shit about ourselves.

    Despite what the world tells us on the internet and in the media, kindness is an innate quality that every human possesses.

    We may lose sight of kindness or forget that we are born with it, but kindness is shown in every corner of the earth and every vessel of our hearts. The more we are aware of that fact, the more we can start to show kindness (beginning with ourselves).

    The trouble is remembering that these qualities already exist in the mind and that we already have the desire to exhibit them.

    For example, how do you feel when someone is truly kind to you?

    Do you feel there is an inclination to do or say something kind back?

    Affirmations at the start of our day, as a wake-up exercise, bring out this inclination more and more.

    There are many incredible affirmations out there, but there are five affirmations that I have used for the past year or so, and I can truly say they have transformed my life:

    You are capable (of anything you put your mind towards).

    You are calm (using your breath as your anchor when stress arises).

    You are clear (knowing where you are and where you’re going).

    You are content (already having all you need to succeed).

    You are compassionate (finding ways to speak your love languages).

    Be sure to use the third person as if you’re talking to a dear friend (trust me, it works wonders).

    And whether you believe these to be true or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that you simply say them, over and over every day.

    Kindness towards yourself needs no reasoning.

    Compassion towards others needs no justification.

    A few more things:

    1. Kindness is the best policy
    2. The Science of Kindness
    3. Random Acts of Kindness
    4. The 5 Love Languages

    Thank you deeply for your time and attention in reading this post, it is a rare gift these days. Feel free to comment, like, or share it. You can also support me by Buying Me A Coffee. Thank you in advance!