Mindfulness &

how to be aware in an unaware world

Author: Josh Avery

  • Phones

    Phones

    I’m going to give us a challenge you might have disregarded before. Leave your phone at home, turn it off for a few hours, or even the entire day.

    First, if your answer to reading this is: “There’s no way to do that, I have work, kids, priorities, responsibilities, and, and…”, then it’s probably a good time to think about how much freedom you have in your everyday life.

    Second, if your answer is: “I can’t be away from my phone too long, what if there’s an emergency, what if someone needs to reach me, what if, what if…”, then I can assure you, people will dial 911 in a real emergency, not you. You’re not a 911 operator. And even if you are, you’re off work, enjoy the nearest park!

    During your time away from your phone and all its apps, notice the way you feel when you don’t have access to your phone.

    Do you feel naked or vulnerable? Do you feel out of control for some reason? Do you constantly think about doing something on your phone?

    Note your experience without any judgment.

    The idea here is to fill only some of the time away from your phone with other activities like exercise, conversation, doodling, skydiving, or even reading.

    Although it might be a great time to do those things, use some of the time to experience and note what the mind gravitates towards.

    I’ll admit it, I love my phone! The numerous apps on my phone help me with nearly everything: navigation, meditation, shopping, research, entertaining, gaming, exercise, and calling people from around the world; all via a quick tap on a bubbly, colorful, addicting icon.

    Our many black mirrors are dual-edged swords that can either be used as a tool or as a distraction.

    Apps have been ingrained in our lives, transforming the way we interact and relate to one another.

    Even our language has changed in accordance with the popular apps available today: “Can you call an Ube?” or “Let’s find an Airbnb!”

    The way we approach these apps changes how we interact with them, and how we interact with them changes our entire experience in life.

    **This has nothing to do with anything, but I’m currently reading Kurt Vonnegut’s A Man Without A Country, which he wrote at 84 years old if I’m not mistaken (this is surprising because he was a chain smoker and should have died at like age 64). I highly recommend you read Kurt Vonnegut, it will change your life.**

    Okay, back to the topic, and the utterly important question in life: “Why?”

    Why do we look, listen, and create what we do through our apps?

    Why do we pick up our phones as soon as we wake up, instead of having a phone-less morning? (I highly recommend a phone-less morning, you’ll thank me after about a week.)

    Why do we also stay up way later than we intended to, staring at a bright rectangle screen, insisting we will go to sleep in just five more minutes? (I’m convinced YouTube is the black hole at the center of the digital universe.)

    Remember, mindfulness is the deliberate act of noticing the present moment in an open and kind way, without judgment or criticism. And some carefully developed apps can evoke us to be more mindful.

    Some apps are infamous for taking us away from the present, like Facebook’s contentious newsfeed or TikTok’s infinite scrolling.

    While many other apps are tools for bettering ourselves, like Headspace, All Trials, Better Help, Sleep Cycle, Maps, and FaceTime (which I use almost every day).

    Being part of a generation where apps have made as much of an impact as books did on the previous generation, I feel a strange calling to the little, bubbly icons.

    I actually feel my life has changed in a positive way and spurred the creation of this blog through an app called Headspace (back when it was just starting out).

    It is because our phones have so much power to change every aspect of our lives, that time spent away from that power could be some of the best time spent!

    Five More Things:

    1. A great list of apps on how to beat stress with meditation.
    2. An in-depth review of the app that transformed how I view the world, Headspace.
    3. Here is a list of great meditation apps from Mindful Organization.
    4. Seven simple ways you can practice mindfulness with your technology platforms by HuffPost.
    5. Five easy ways to do a Digital Detox by Psychology Today.

    Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this post or more reading, you can consider Buying Me A Coffee.

  • Resilience

    Resilience

    “Every challenge is a gift. Every adversity is an opportunity.“
    – Deepak Chopra

    This was a quote I grabbed from a guided meditation video one morning on the Fitbit app. As Chopra spoke the mantra in the meditation, I found myself immediately connecting with the words and repeating them to myself. They also seemed to stick with me throughout the day, emerging different points.

    Later that day, some close friends and I went on an island camping trip to Percy Priest Lake in south Nashville.

    There’s nothing extraordinary about these small, scattered islands other than the chance to pitch a tent, start a fire, and enjoy good company over the sight and sound of the still lake.

    During this particular camp, however, we got caught in a massive thunderstorm that flooded our campsite for hours into the night. It was cold, wet, and invariably uncomfortable the whole night, but it was a gift.

    It was the gift of resilience.

    Because of this outwardly discomforting and unlucky experience, I have an even greater appreciation now of the comfort, warmth, and dryness that a good shelter provides. And I have an opportunity to connect with that discomfort and understand it on a deeper level.

    I believe this is a feeling that needs experiencing over and over.

    In life, we always have at least two choices. 99% of the time, those choices are so small that we often overlook them, but they are massively important.

    For instance, I had two choices on that tiny, drenched island. To sit there and mope about how much it sucked (which I did for a while) or stand up, punch the water out of the flaps in the tent cover over me and crack a joke about the situation (which I ultimately chose to do).

    It’s not about what, when, or how things happen to us, good or bad, right or wrong, it’s about how we choose to respond to them.

    Reactions are knee-jerk and haphazard. Responses are a carefully thought-through rarity.

    I encourage you to notice what happens when you see challenges and adversity as gifts and opportunities.

    Write down the experience. How did it make you feel? What was your response or reaction?

    Three Links

    1. How to boost your resilience.
    2. Why you should talk to yourself. 
    3. Camping 101

    Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this post or more reading, you can consider Buying Me A Coffee.

  • Wisdom

    Wisdom

    “The wise expect nothing, hope for nothing, thus avoiding all disappointment and anxiety.”
    – Alexandra David-Néel

    However, hope can be the greatest of things, says Andy Dufresne.

    (Just because I share these quotes doesn’t mean I always agree with them. My reasoning behind sharing them is to help me write engaging blog posts as well as push me to think through them.)

    I also may agree with them during one point in my life and then disagree with them during another, that’s called the human condition. However, the point is to understand the mind of the author, not to find disagreement with them.

    Disagreement should be a productive jumping-off point, a seeking to understand the core of the argument and see the other person’s side of view with more clarity.

    Disappointment sucks, yes, but it’s also a catalyst to change. It’s in learning why we are disappointed with a certain outcome or person that we learn to have meaningful conversations and let go of the ego.

    Expectations lead to unnecessary “what if” storylines in the mind.

    Which can grow and grow, creating anxiety and angst in even the calmest of minds. Let’s take a simple high-school crush as an example: What if they don’t like me? What if I can’t talk to them? What if I don’t know what to say? What if they like someone else?

    These “what ifs” can go on in perpetuity or until we see them from enough of a distance and watch them pass away.

    The mind is a truly tricky place to navigate. Without the awareness to see thoughts, we will inevitably be consumed by them.

    And without the practice of awareness (meditation, noting, visualizing), we will not be aware long enough to let thoughts pass.

    Personally, I would change this quote to read: “The wise expect little, hope when all seems lost, and thus see disappointment and anxiety as passing clouds far above them.”

    I encourage you to seek what troubles your mind today: write it down, speak it out loud, and tell someone who will actively listen (not necessarily in that order).

    It’s in understanding our disappointments, anxieties, frustrations, and emotions that we better our relationship with our minds.

    Three Links

    1. Why You Need Wisdom (read)
    2. How to Disagree Better (audio) 
    3. What is Wisdom? (video)

    Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this post or more reading, you can consider Buying Me A Coffee.