“Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, for your character is what you are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” – Dale Carnegie

I love this quote for two reasons. The first is that reputation is a heavy-loaded word, surrounded by double meanings, and this simple definition of the word cuts through the bullshit – straight to the point.

The second reason is more a subtle reminder, that our character is like a tree and our reputation is like its shadow (I believe Abraham Lincoln said that, and boy was his reputation on the line).

Most of us are generally afraid to say something wrong, do something incorrect, or make an unpopular decision. Luckily, you can please some people some of the time, but you definitely can’t please all the people all of the time (I believe Bob Marley said that one, and boy, there weren’t a lot of people who didn’t like the guy).

The human condition of fear keeps us from speaking out, tarnishing our reputation, but is it better to have a bad reputation doing the right thing or a good reputation doing nothing?

This isn’t to say that a bad reputation can’t follow a bad person, it most certainly can. But it can also follow a good person doing the right thing. Sometimes we must make a choice Harry, between doing the right thing and doing the easy thing (I believe Dumbledore said that, and boy did he have his share of fictional but heart-wrenching choices).

Caring for a reputation is like caring for a dead tree, it will only rot away in the end, our time wasting away with it. Caring for our character is like tending an already strong, capable, and beautiful tree, unconcerned with all the dead trees around us.

Haters are like crickets. Crickets make a lot of noise, you can hear them but you can’t see them, and then right when you walk by, they go quiet. (Honestly, I have no idea who said that, only that I just remembered it).

To be more concerned with our character than our reputation is no easy task, but it is only uncomfortable when we listen to the crickets.

Where does our good counsel come from then? If listening to chirping crickets is a waste of time, then listening to good counsel must be the key.

Mindfulness teaches us to listen openly and kindly – directing our character towards kindness, compassion, justice, and service.

Doing the right thing, the hard thing is a matter of observation.

Observe your friends, family, and members of your community – who stands out? Who is doing the hard things – standing up for what they believe in? Is the core message of kindness 

Observe yourself – what doesn’t settle right with you? What difficult choices do you have in your life right now? What does your conscious tell you in difficult times?

Breath deep

Clear your conscious

Proudly stand up for yourself – for you are worth it.

Bodly stand up for others – for they are worth it.

Dale hit the nail on the head when comparing reputation to thought – he was reminding us of a simple confusion in definition, unfortunately, common today.

Only we know our character – that part of us that needs no approval. Only we can grow our roots with a clear conscience and good counsel. And only we can determine what is right and what is easy.