Mindfulness &

how to be aware in an unaware world

Tag: change

  • Gratitude

    Gratitude

    “For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” – Vincent Van Gogh

    It’s true, there is much we can discern with certainty nowadays, but there is also so much we don’t know, like what gives life meaning and where heaven is in all the universe.

    The sight of the stars makes Van Gogh dream, and these questions of meaning and heaven make me dream!

    I believe that what makes us even want to dream in the first place is a beautiful yet simple practice called Gratitude.

    Gratitude results in the posture: never regret a single day in your life.

    There are good days, bad days, best days, and worst days. The good days give happiness. The bad days give experience. The worst days give lessons. The best days give memories.

    The good days are most days. When we look at gratitude as medicine and take it every day, we find that it really does make us healthier, inside and out.

    If you’re the product of your environment, then change your environment.

    If you’re the sum total of your thoughts, then change your thoughts.

    If you’re the influence of the 10 people you most surround yourself with, then change who you surround yourself with.

    We tend to think we are having a bad day because of factors we can control but just don’t choose to. The bad days are those rare days that something really bad happens and are deserving of feeling like crap about it.

    The bad days are rare only when we remember that most days are actually amazing and showered in blessings. The air we breathe, the water we drink, and the food we eat are all blessings, and they are provided every day to 90% of us.

    It is even okay to have a bad day every now and then, to feel that pain, loss, hurt, disappointment, or struggle, and to know the next day will get better.

    The best days are those days when you’re on top of the world and nothing can go wrong. Something amazing could have happened, you fell in love, you won the lottery, or you had a baby.

    These are the days we all look forward to, revel in, and remember forever. It is good to soak them up, enjoy them when they come, but also know that they too will pass, just like the bad days.

    The worst days are those that bring us to our knees, reminding us that we are really such fragile beings. They are the days of great loss, tragedy, and shock. When we lose a job, lose a friend or family member, and lose ourselves.

    The worst days, however, teach the best lessons. Despite the difficulty or tragedy, the ability to get through the worst days always makes us stronger.

    Through all of these types of days, there is also the ever-present lesson of impermanence, that everything is in a constant state of change, and for every low, there is a high.

    This doesn’t make the highs better and the lows worse; this means we can let go of any effect they have on us when we step back.

    Mindfulness makes us aware of impermanence, naturally bringing us to a place of peace in all the change.

    Gratitude makes us thankful for impermanence, reminding us that there is so much to be thankful for even amongst the change.

    Here are a few questions that can help you find more gratitude in your life!

    When in your life were you super grateful for something or someone?

    What are 10 things you are grateful for today?

    Why are you grateful for those things?

    How can you find a little more gratitude in your day today?

  • Honesty

    Honesty

    “Her quick and ready honesty suggests that we don’t have time to not mean what we say.”

    This was a quote I found in a book I can’t remember the name of, though I loved the message so much that I had to note it.

    The message is so simple and yet so profound: saying things we don’t mean is a huge waste of time and energy. It gives others the impression we’re not to be trusted or relied upon and secures a false reputation.

    Reflection

    On an average day, most of us hear thousands of words and hundreds of phrases. And those words of encouragement, affirmation, and honesty are remembered far more than the ones.

    Honesty is a trait often overlooked. We desire more of an advantage rather than the truth, and this will only disappoint long term.

    That saying that honesty is the best policy seems not only to be true but also effective. How we present ourselves to others will be presented back to ourselves.

    Why do we lie? Lying is a defensive mechanism to protect the integrity of the original lie. It can be uneasy and uncomfortable to tell the truth (but that’s exactly when we should).

    I myself admittedly talk a lot, and all those words get me into trouble from time to time. I’ve learned through mindfulness that I don’t need to tell everyone my life story of how I feel about this and that. Sometimes it’s okay to just listen.

    The more honest I am with myself, the less I feel the need to lie, and lying then becomes the less and less preferred option.

    The first article shared under links provides five simple tips for becoming a more honest, truthful individual:

    Be Truthful to Yourself
    When we find ourselves consistently creating justifications for our actions, it’s a signal to embrace and accept every aspect of who we are (flaws included).

    Change the Thing That Makes You Lie
    We don’t need to go overboard being excessively kind to everyone we encounter or exert immense effort to please everyone. People generally appreciate honesty, even if it comes with a bit of discomfort, rather than a sugarcoated lie.

    Don’t Strive to be Somebody Else
    One reason people are not consistently honest is because of the constant pressure to conform to someone else’s or society’s expectations. The need to continually impress others can lead us to exaggerate about the life we truly lead.

    Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
    When we’re not authentic about our true selves, that special someone isn’t connecting with the real you. Revealing our genuine selves later on might unexpectedly bring an abrupt end to the relationship.

    Consider Going to Therapy
    There’s a limit to what we can achieve on our own, and reaching out to a therapist may be a crucial step forward at this stage. There’s no need to feel ashamed about discussing your issues and insecurities with a professional (it’s their job after all).

    Encouragement

    I encourage us today to choose honesty, with ourselves and with others. Pause and catch yourself when you begin to lie. Consider alternatives.

    And write down any lies you might have been telling yourself and others for years, it will help loosen the weight heavy on your shoulders.

    Remember there is a significant difference between being truthful and being cruel, so try your best to be tactful in the way you speak to yourself and others.

    Thanks

    Honestly, the encouragement I have received from those of you who read these little posts has been so helpful and I am beyond blessed to have this avenue of outreach.

    As always, feel free to leave a comment or share this post. You can also Buy Me a Coffee if you are inclined to do so. Thank you in advance!

    Links

    1. 5 Tips to Be More Honest With People (Break Your Lying Habit)
    2. Why Do We Lie?
    3. Pamela Meyer: How to spot a liar | TED Talk
    4. Why We Lie, And The Neuroscience Behind It