how to be aware in an unaware world

Tag: mindfulness

Gadgets
“Love people and use things because the opposite never works.”
– Joshua Fields Millburn
Growing up in a sprawling suburbia, I would spend so much money, time, energy, and attention span on Amazon, Walmart, and just shopping online.
My father used to remark on all the ‘gadgets’ I had accumulated through the years, saying how ridiculous they all were, which I can look back on now and appreciate.
The useful and purposeful ‘gadgets’ I found were only about 10% of the ‘gadgets’ I spent hard-earned money obtaining.
It was a small problem when I was spending more than I was making and a big problem when I was making more money just to spend it on shit I truly didn’t need.
I look back today and think, how could I be so consumed with consumption? How could I not have seen the trajectory of this behavior leading ever deeper into a hole of debt and depression?
Reflection
And then, on a crisp summer afternoon in college, I was flipping through Netflix (mindlessly) until a title caught my attention, ‘MINIMALISM: A Documentary About The Important Things’
I thought, “Well that sounds interesting, I’m filled with a lot of unimportant things in my life right now and I kinda need answers to this dilemma” (which I assumed it would provide).
And boy did the now cult favorite independent film provide answers, but not in the way you would think.
It was after that movie, after the tears of realization and reflection, that I’d been living my life all wrong, and after talking it out with my friends and family I decided to make a change (but I’ll get back to that).
This movie lays the groundwork for a philosophy that has been around for thousands of years and is really just an evolved term for intentional living or valued-based living (a way of life that used to be incredibly commonplace).
Minimalism itself is not a new idea: the concept dates back to the Stoics, to every major religion, and, more recently, to Emerson, Thoreau, and Tyler Durden. What’s new is the problem: never before have people been more seduced by materialism, and never before have people been so willing to forsake loved ones to acquire heaps of meaningless stuff.
For most of history, people didn’t even think about having more than they needed because they didn’t have the means to accumulate stuff and were therefore content with what they had.
But during the industrial revolution, modern marvels became cheaper and cheaper to make, therefore cheaper and cheaper to price.
It took just eight or so years for the smartphone to become both cheap enough for anyone to buy and accessible enough for anyone to get.
But in the wake of this paradigm shift in society, towers and towers of waste began to form (evidently the main byproduct of modern capitalism).
I saw, for the first time, that waste was thrown out and piled up everywhere (literally and metaphorically). And once I saw it, I could not unsee it.
I had been so consumed in shopping for shit I never needed that I did not see the shit lying all around me, the same stuff I was spending so much money on.
I had had enough, so I did three things that fateful afternoon:
1. I took on the minimalist challenge to sell, give, or try and recycle all the shit that I did not value.
2. I started writing about my decision and the implications it had on me, which led to this very blog!
3. I changed my spending habits to reflect my values, vowing to be mindful of where, when, and how I consume anything.
It has been a rocky road since then and I have not been entirely faithful to those rules I set, but for the most part, I have remained changed at my core.
It was also through the practice of focused attention that I began to see the train before it departed, with all its gadgets and gizmos (as my father would say).
Encouragement
I encourage us to ask the hard questions today, questions like, “Is this stuff lying around me both useful and valued in my eyes?” or “How long have I even used this thing?”
List those things that you probably should get rid of, sell, or recycle. If you share a lot of that stuff, write the list together with your partner.
A million excuses will get in your way, but trust me, it is better to begin this questioning earlier than later when you suddenly open your eyes in retirement to the fact you have so much stuff.
Through deeper questioning, we find deeper meaning and begin to shape our lives in new ways.
Thanks
I am thankful for the minimalists and their continuous influence on me to live a more intentional life.
And I am thankful for all who continue to read this blog, to which I have really just begun, thanks for taking this journey with me!
As always, feel free to leave a comment or share this post. You can also Buy Me a Coffee if you are inclined to do so. Thank you in advance!
Links
November 30, 2023
Honesty
“Her quick and ready honesty suggests that we don’t have time to not mean what we say.”
This was a quote I found in a book I can’t remember the name of, though I loved the message so much that I had to note it.
The message is so simple and yet so profound: saying things we don’t mean is a huge waste of time and energy. It gives others the impression we’re not to be trusted or relied upon and secures a false reputation.
Reflection
On an average day, most of us hear thousands of words and hundreds of phrases. And those words of encouragement, affirmation, and honesty are remembered far more than the ones.
Honesty is a trait often overlooked. We desire more of an advantage rather than the truth, and this will only disappoint long term.
That saying that honesty is the best policy seems not only to be true but also effective. How we present ourselves to others will be presented back to ourselves.
Why do we lie? Lying is a defensive mechanism to protect the integrity of the original lie. It can be uneasy and uncomfortable to tell the truth (but that’s exactly when we should).
I myself admittedly talk a lot, and all those words get me into trouble from time to time. I’ve learned through mindfulness that I don’t need to tell everyone my life story of how I feel about this and that. Sometimes it’s okay to just listen.
The more honest I am with myself, the less I feel the need to lie, and lying then becomes the less and less preferred option.
The first article shared under links provides five simple tips for becoming a more honest, truthful individual:
Be Truthful to Yourself
When we find ourselves consistently creating justifications for our actions, it’s a signal to embrace and accept every aspect of who we are (flaws included).
Change the Thing That Makes You Lie
We don’t need to go overboard being excessively kind to everyone we encounter or exert immense effort to please everyone. People generally appreciate honesty, even if it comes with a bit of discomfort, rather than a sugarcoated lie.
Don’t Strive to be Somebody Else
One reason people are not consistently honest is because of the constant pressure to conform to someone else’s or society’s expectations. The need to continually impress others can lead us to exaggerate about the life we truly lead.
Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
When we’re not authentic about our true selves, that special someone isn’t connecting with the real you. Revealing our genuine selves later on might unexpectedly bring an abrupt end to the relationship.
Consider Going to Therapy
There’s a limit to what we can achieve on our own, and reaching out to a therapist may be a crucial step forward at this stage. There’s no need to feel ashamed about discussing your issues and insecurities with a professional (it’s their job after all).
Encouragement
I encourage us today to choose honesty, with ourselves and with others. Pause and catch yourself when you begin to lie. Consider alternatives.
And write down any lies you might have been telling yourself and others for years, it will help loosen the weight heavy on your shoulders.
Remember there is a significant difference between being truthful and being cruel, so try your best to be tactful in the way you speak to yourself and others.
Thanks
Honestly, the encouragement I have received from those of you who read these little posts has been so helpful and I am beyond blessed to have this avenue of outreach.
As always, feel free to leave a comment or share this post. You can also Buy Me a Coffee if you are inclined to do so. Thank you in advance!
Links
November 22, 2023
Choices
“Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.”
– Victor Frankl
We have as much reason to choose positivity as we do negativity, but the latter is quite illogical in my opinion.
A negative mood reinforces a negative attitude, and let’s be honest, nobody likes a negative attitude.
This is not the same as sadness, frustration, or even anger, which are healthy to express in their own right moment.
Reflection
Negativity breeds judgment and facilitates grudges. I for one would rather choose positivity, even when it seems there is little reason to.
Why? Because my attitude is everything. What I see in the mirror reflects how I treat others and the truth is I love myself.
I also hold myself to high standards, to be hopeful, kind, and positive. It begins with affirmations. Just like how we are what we eat, we are also what we tell ourselves.
How a single choice can lead to the most profound change in our lives fascinates me every day.
For example, the choice to brush our teeth (which is a wonderful habit to link to meditation) gives us fresh breath, clean teeth, and even extends our lifespan.
When we remember to meditate before or after brushing our teeth, then we can attach one great habit to another (all meditation is not the same either, if it is difficult to sit for a while, try going on a walk or use guided meditation!)
Although a choice is difficult to describe, like putting one foot in front of the other vs buying a new car, the average adult makes around 35,000 decisions daily.
That’s a hell of a lot of decisions, and when faced with too many options, our brains naturally overload, struggling to process all available information, leading first to decision fatigue and then to decision paralysis.
(Decision Fatigue refers to the idea that our ability to make good decisions becomes depleted over time).
(Decision Paralysis is where we cannot make a choice, even when all necessary information is available).
Our constant availability of technology and bombardment of notifications has only increased in the last decade, making the practice of pausing to literally catch our breath or go on a nice walk without our phones or music has become a necessity.
The simplest choice is to put our devices in another room, outside the reach before bed, and when waking up, can affect our entire night (restful sleep) and morning (undistracted mornings).
The easiest solution I’ve found is a Fitbit Watch to remind me when it’s time to settle down, wake me up with a smart alarm, and track me while I dream of an endless world full of adventure and misfits (no this is not an advertisement, for that look at the link at the bottom lol).
Encouragement
No matter what, be kind. First to yourself and then to others. Repeat affirmations in the third person like: “You have the ability to do anything you put your mind towards.” or “Your happiness is a choice.”
Whether you believe these to be true or not doesn’t matter. Kindness towards yourself is a choice that has tremendous power.
Thanks
Thank you so much for the affirmation and encouragement lately ya’ll, it pushes me to keep this train going!
Feel free to leave a comment or share this post. You can also Buy Me a Coffee if you are inclined to do so. Thank you in advance!
Links
November 15, 2023