Mindfulness &

how to be aware in an unaware world

Category: Quotes

  • Empathy

    Empathy

    This post is about Mindfulness and Empathy, and what it does to us when practiced. I will also begin a series on the 8 most common human emotions: Happiness, Sadness, Anger, Fear, Love, Jealousy, Anxiety, and Excitement. If you find any value in this post and would like to support me, you can do so over at buymeacoffee.com/mindfulnessand Thank you in advance!

    “All the meditation in the world is pointless without acceptance and empathy.“

    Empathy is a way to connect to the emotion another person is experiencing. It doesn’t require that we have experienced the same situation they are going through; however, it does require that we acknowledge the other person’s perspective.

    It doesn’t matter what that person’s perspective may be, whether we agree with it or not, or it follows our values; just that we acknowledge a different perspective is there, that it exists. Brené Brown on Empathy.

    Sometimes, it can be hard to react compassionately when faced with a challenging situation. As with any new skill, retraining your brain to respond with empathy takes practice.

    Intentionally responding with empathy means recognizing and validating the other person’s perspective while actively working to interrupt bias and avoid judgment.

    This requires us to pause and connect with our own emotions as a way to relate to the other person because the reality is that we have all felt the way someone else has at one point in our lives.

    Showing empathy can feel uncomfortable, and takes time and effort to get right; it includes making mistakes along the way, but that’s why it’s so important.

    We also do not need to agree with another person’s perspective or adopt it, to empathize with them. Empathizing is all about acknowledging the other person’s perspective, and recognizing that their feelings are valid, even if you don’t necessarily feel the same way.

    Before sharing your disagreement though, take time to listen and reflect on what the other person is saying. Be sure you aren’t jumping to conclusions or interrupting to disagree before considering the other person’s whole message.

    This in itself is another practice. Try it yourself when faced with a conversation that you disagree with, listen as if you just might agree with them, this keeps your judgment at bay until it’s appropriate to express it.

    It’s fascinating, what empathy does to the mind. ‘I Feel Your Pain’: The Neuroscience of Empathy

    “When we witness what happens to others, we don’t just activate the visual cortex as we thought some decades ago, we also activate our own actions as if we’d be acting in similar ways. We activate our own emotions and sensations as if we felt the same.” Says Christian Keysers of the Netherlands Institute for Neuroscience in Amsterdam.

    Our ability to empathize with the suffering of others enables us to share and comprehend their pain. Witnessing the distress of others frequently inspires us to react with empathy.

    This doesn’t go to mention the dangers of too much Empathy, which can actually begin to look a lot more like enabling than empathy. It’s important to note the mindfulness in showing and expressing empathy, to be fully aware of the intentions behind being empathetic. The surprising dark side of empathy

    The continuation of our species hinges on reciprocal assistance, and offering it alleviates our own anguish. How we empathize with others.

    In conclusion, what empathy is doing in our minds transforms our ability to respond in any given situation, empathy provides the relationship to another person’s suffering.

    Thank you for returning to these rambling posts, it means the world to me knowing people gain some insight from them. I get feedback from time to time about how a post has inspired them, and it encourages me to keep at it!

  • Control

    Control

    Changing things up a bit, this post is much less a how-to-live-better and much more a small story of a small hike I went on earlier this year. Also, If you find any value in my musings, your support will go miles long to support me! You can do so over at buymeacoffee.com/mindfulnessand

    “We treat the body cruelly to remind it that the mind is in control.”

    A beautiful and eloquent quote I cannot find the source of (or cited source of). It reminds me of every time I’ve pushed past my body and mind’s limits, from hiking Olamana’s Three Peaks in sandals and half a water bottle, or Kings Peak after springing both ankles a few months prior, or climbing Queens Bluff when my arms and legs shook uncontrollably from the danger, or camping alone and banged up in the deep woods of northern Alabama. Each time, my mind was in control even though my body was strained. I focused and re-focused on what steps ensured survival. The mind has a ridiculous amount of power over the body, we are reminded of this every 4 years during the Olympics or on any given outdoor channel. So if I could give any encouragement in this post it would be to never forget the power of your mind. Train it to your betterment, and use it to your advantage.

    It is early January as I hike up and up along the steep and dry face of Mt. Olympus in Salt Lake’s mountainous backyard, pushing higher and higher above the inversion, I turn around to see…

    Bated breath escapes my lungs as I stand and soak in the appalling and mesmerizing view, a flat lake of dense pollution and cold, trapped air floating above Salt Lake Valley.

    I can hear the momentous traffic below, a steady hum like an AC running in the background of a summer home. It is loud enough to drown out the thoughts bubbling in the mind yet soft enough to drown out the exhaustion in the body.

    Leaving the hum behind, I continue up the rocky trail, around the corner of the canyon, the sun inching out of a thing cloud above. Turning left into a dark caress of the canyon covered by trees on either side, I reach a section of the trail covered with packed snow and pause to catch my breath again.

    A few fellow enthusiasts greet me while sliding down with crampons and much more sense than I. A mental note is taken to get some crampons or spikes when I next see fit to.

    While continuing up the trail into steeper ground and fewer trees, I begin to realize the sun is getting cautiously low, hovering just above the mountains in the distance, and I get cautiously close to turning around, without the proper gear and light to push my will much further. How to Trick Your Brain into Doing Hard Things

    Though this is an interesting reflection, my will was waning, but my body was content with going further. Previously, logic would have lost to determination, yet as I age so does my determination, becoming less childlike and more deliberate. How to Train Your Brain to Enjoy Doing Hard Things

    And so, it doesn’t take long for my logical voice to win as I pause to take a sip of water, sit down on the blanketed trail, and then cautiously begin my descent back down, darkness slowly closing in…

    And here is another question. What about darkness besides the lack of light is to be feared and cautious of? Sure, there are lower temperatures and night-time creatures to not forget, however, the cold is tempered by warmer clothing and a quicker pace, and to the hidden creatures, we are just another strange predator, but unequivocally not preferred prey.

    Thank you for reading this story of mine and the associated, random thinking. Given that hard things only become harder when we recognize them as being “hard” in the first place, I will make writing an easy task. How to Trick Your Brain to Like Doing Hard Things

    In reality, when I just sit to write, I enjoy it very, very much and it’s not laborious at all, the trick is to just sit to write. Have a wonderful day!

  • Criticism

    Criticism

    I’ve changed the structure and format of these posts to be more engaging and precise about what the post is about, hope you’ll enjoy this one! If you do find value in my musings, you can Buy Me a Coffee over at buymeacoffee.com/mindfulnessand Thank you in advance!

    “If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
    – George Orwell

    This is such a potent quote today, where we are very divided in this country and that division has created callousness towards differing opinions. Orwell is so right to say that the price of liberty is freedom of not only speech but also attention.

    True attention holds no reserve judgment or criticism, it involves listening without the two, and even without a response.

    I believe Orwell is also not saying that liberty means we should reserve our truest thoughts and opinions for those who will listen either but rather mindfully express those two openly and kindly.

    If we were to only speak what comforts the ears of others, and only listen to what comforts our own, we would live in a fantasy, a utopia that is far from reality.

    The reality is, that everyone has an opinion, some much more fixed to theirs than others, and instead of avoiding those that we don’t sit well with or fighting back at them, we can have an open mind and just listen. How to Handle Receiving Constructive Criticism

    There are small, subtle, impactful ways we can listen to criticism, and in a way, strengthen a mental muscle akin to willpower (the strength to just shut up and listen).

    1. Remember there’s a benefit to receiving criticism:
      What benefits you might be asking? Well, criticism helps us improve our listening skills, patience, and relationships as well as helping us find any truth in what the other person is saying.
    2. Curtail any reaction you’re having to the criticism:
      We are reactionary creatures it’s true, which is why this takes a good bit of mindfulness. Although it can be challenging to receive criticism from a co-worker, friend, family member, or even someone that you don’t fully respect, just remember that the most accurate and constructive feedback often comes from ‘flawed’ sources.
    3. There is a deep understanding of listening to criticism:
      When receiving feedback, cultivate a mindful presence. Engage in active listening, providing a space for the individual to express their thoughts fully and uninterrupted. Once they’ve shared, reflect on their words to them, seeking clarity, such as, “It sounds like you’re suggesting I use a kinder tone, is that accurate?” Refrain from analyzing or challenging their assessment; instead, center your focus on comprehending their viewpoint. Extend understanding by giving the benefit of the doubt, and acknowledging the challenge of delivering feedback. Please recognize that the person offering feedback may feel uneasy or might not articulate their thoughts perfectly.

    If this were the mode of operation and standard of thought for that which causes division in the world today, there would be little to no division at all.

    Yeah, sometimes what other people have to say sucks and sometimes it’s uncomfortable, but their opinion can open your eyes and face things you might otherwise ignore. How to Handle Criticism Like a Pro

    The right to speak openly and even critically is fundamental, no matter how unpleasant it sounds to the status quo. Without this ability, we have no liberty. Have a wonderful day yall!