Rejection

“Most dazzling human achievements are, in fact, the aggregate of countless individual elements, each of which is, in a sense, ordinary.”
– Angela Duckworth

(Another way of stating this is that individually we are ordinary, but together we are extra ordinary).

Layers and layers of simple inventions, like the parts of a computer (or the layers of a cake), make this possible, making the ordinary extraordinary (or delicious).

And broken down, piece by piece, anything can be understood and learned, from rocket engines to apple pies (also delicious).

It’s not just about the matter either, people become more understood and surprisingly relatable when unwrapping their layers.

Reflection

Take agoraphobia for instance, a condition consistent with many layers, trauma, self-doubt, isolation, etc. that when confronted and encouraged, can heal someone and change their life.

What’s agoraphobic you ask? It’s a person with an extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving their own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult (like Van Gough).

Last I checked, there are a lot of anxious and socially awkward people out there, which can be for a lot of reasons, but one that speaks numbers is the fear of rejection or humiliation.

Because we are biologically hardwired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen critically. So much so that we avoid any situation that could cause rejection at all.

But there within lies a greatly missed opportunity: Rejection. Beautiful, terrifying, life-changing, character-building rejection!

Rejection teaches us a powerful lesson: we are not supposed to be liked by everyone. That’s impossible (and so we can save a lot of energy just letting that shit go too).

As we become less afraid of what we’re experiencing inside — that is, less afraid of ourselves — we become less intimidated by rejection and more empowered to love and be loved.

So once again, this has nothing to do with the ingenuity and grit of teams, but more so of the individual.

It reminds me of Steve Rogers in the first Captain America, who was so frail and thin that he could barely run a mile straight, but he had one thing no other soldier did: a heart and a mind.

He was the one who jumped on top of a dummy grenade, screaming for his comrades to get back while they scurried away anyway (heart because it was the right thing to do, not the easy thing) (like Dumbledore).

And learned to get the flag off the top of a tall ass pole by simply removing the pin at the bottom while his comrades scrambled on top of each other to grab it (mind because of awareness, not some oversized intelligence) (that’s Tony Stark).

Yes, thank you, I am a nerd.

Encouragement

What scares you the most out there? I encourage us to embrace that, even if very slowly. Try and do one thing today that scares you, whether it be meeting a new person or trying a new food.

Also, what would you like to learn today? Because you can learn absolutely anything you want.

Given this realization, try solving some of these riddles by breaking them down (the answers are in the first link).

1. Mr. and Mrs. Mustard have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Mustard family?
2. How do you make the number 7 even without addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division?
3. Always in you, Sometimes on you; If I surround you, I can kill you. What am I?
4. How can you take 2 from 5 and leave 4?
5. Two girls have the same parents and were born at the same hour on the same day of the same month, but they are not twins. How can this be possible?

Thanks

I am thankful for the space and platform to write. This blog has breathed new life into me and I’m eternally grateful.

As always, you can like, share, reply to this post below or support me over at buymeacoffee.com/mindfulnessand

Links

1. 100+ Brain Teasers for Kids and Adults (with Answers)
2. Deconstructing the Fear of Rejection: What Are We Really Afraid Of?
3. TED-Ed: How to deal with rejection
4. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson 

P.S. I will start recommending a new book with every blog post. Today, it’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson (with help from Ashwaganda). Here’s an introduction:

Life is not about getting rid of problems, it’s about finding better problems. It’s not about avoiding failure, it’s about getting better at failure. It’s not about knowing everything, but becoming more comfortable in not knowing anything.