“Her quick and ready honesty suggests that we don’t have time to not mean what we say.”
This was a quote I found in a book I can’t remember the name of, though I loved the message so much that I had to note it.
The message is so simple and yet so profound: saying things we don’t mean is a huge waste of time and energy. It gives others the impression we’re not to be trusted or relied upon and secures a false reputation.
Reflection
On an average day, most of us hear thousands of words and hundreds of phrases. And those words of encouragement, affirmation, and honesty are remembered far more than the ones.
Honesty is a trait often overlooked. We desire more of an advantage rather than the truth, and this will only disappoint long term.
That saying that honesty is the best policy seems not only to be true but also effective. How we present ourselves to others will be presented back to ourselves.
Why do we lie? Lying is a defensive mechanism to protect the integrity of the original lie. It can be uneasy and uncomfortable to tell the truth (but that’s exactly when we should).
I myself admittedly talk a lot, and all those words get me into trouble from time to time. I’ve learned through mindfulness that I don’t need to tell everyone my life story of how I feel about this and that. Sometimes it’s okay to just listen.
The more honest I am with myself, the less I feel the need to lie, and lying then becomes the less and less preferred option.
The first article shared under links provides five simple tips for becoming a more honest, truthful individual:
Be Truthful to Yourself
When we find ourselves consistently creating justifications for our actions, it’s a signal to embrace and accept every aspect of who we are (flaws included).
Change the Thing That Makes You Lie
We don’t need to go overboard being excessively kind to everyone we encounter or exert immense effort to please everyone. People generally appreciate honesty, even if it comes with a bit of discomfort, rather than a sugarcoated lie.
Don’t Strive to be Somebody Else
One reason people are not consistently honest is because of the constant pressure to conform to someone else’s or society’s expectations. The need to continually impress others can lead us to exaggerate about the life we truly lead.
Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
When we’re not authentic about our true selves, that special someone isn’t connecting with the real you. Revealing our genuine selves later on might unexpectedly bring an abrupt end to the relationship.
Consider Going to Therapy
There’s a limit to what we can achieve on our own, and reaching out to a therapist may be a crucial step forward at this stage. There’s no need to feel ashamed about discussing your issues and insecurities with a professional (it’s their job after all).
Encouragement
I encourage us today to choose honesty, with ourselves and with others. Pause and catch yourself when you begin to lie. Consider alternatives.
And write down any lies you might have been telling yourself and others for years, it will help loosen the weight heavy on your shoulders.
Remember there is a significant difference between being truthful and being cruel, so try your best to be tactful in the way you speak to yourself and others.
Thanks
Honestly, the encouragement I have received from those of you who read these little posts has been so helpful and I am beyond blessed to have this avenue of outreach.
As always, feel free to leave a comment or share this post. You can also Buy Me a Coffee if you are inclined to do so. Thank you in advance!
Links
