how to be aware in an unaware world

Tag: encouragement

Rejection
“Most dazzling human achievements are, in fact, the aggregate of countless individual elements, each of which is, in a sense, ordinary.”
– Angela Duckworth
(Another way of stating this is that individually we are ordinary, but together we are extra ordinary).
Layers and layers of simple inventions, like the parts of a computer (or the layers of a cake), make this possible, making the ordinary extraordinary (or delicious).
And broken down, piece by piece, anything can be understood and learned, from rocket engines to apple pies (also delicious).
It’s not just about the matter either, people become more understood and surprisingly relatable when unwrapping their layers.
Reflection
Take agoraphobia for instance, a condition consistent with many layers, trauma, self-doubt, isolation, etc. that when confronted and encouraged, can heal someone and change their life.
What’s agoraphobic you ask? It’s a person with an extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving their own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult (like Van Gough).
Last I checked, there are a lot of anxious and socially awkward people out there, which can be for a lot of reasons, but one that speaks numbers is the fear of rejection or humiliation.
Because we are biologically hardwired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen critically. So much so that we avoid any situation that could cause rejection at all.
But there within lies a greatly missed opportunity: Rejection. Beautiful, terrifying, life-changing, character-building rejection!
Rejection teaches us a powerful lesson: we are not supposed to be liked by everyone. That’s impossible (and so we can save a lot of energy just letting that shit go too).
As we become less afraid of what we’re experiencing inside — that is, less afraid of ourselves — we become less intimidated by rejection and more empowered to love and be loved.
So once again, this has nothing to do with the ingenuity and grit of teams, but more so of the individual.
It reminds me of Steve Rogers in the first Captain America, who was so frail and thin that he could barely run a mile straight, but he had one thing no other soldier did: a heart and a mind.
He was the one who jumped on top of a dummy grenade, screaming for his comrades to get back while they scurried away anyway (heart because it was the right thing to do, not the easy thing) (like Dumbledore).
And learned to get the flag off the top of a tall ass pole by simply removing the pin at the bottom while his comrades scrambled on top of each other to grab it (mind because of awareness, not some oversized intelligence) (that’s Tony Stark).
Yes, thank you, I am a nerd.
Encouragement
What scares you the most out there? I encourage us to embrace that, even if very slowly. Try and do one thing today that scares you, whether it be meeting a new person or trying a new food.
Also, what would you like to learn today? Because you can learn absolutely anything you want.
Given this realization, try solving some of these riddles by breaking them down (the answers are in the first link).
1. Mr. and Mrs. Mustard have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Mustard family?
2. How do you make the number 7 even without addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division?
3. Always in you, Sometimes on you; If I surround you, I can kill you. What am I?
4. How can you take 2 from 5 and leave 4?
5. Two girls have the same parents and were born at the same hour on the same day of the same month, but they are not twins. How can this be possible?
Thanks
I am thankful for the space and platform to write. This blog has breathed new life into me and I’m eternally grateful.
As always, you can like, share, reply to this post below or support me over at buymeacoffee.com/mindfulnessand
Links
P.S. I will start recommending a new book with every blog post. Today, it’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson (with help from Ashwaganda). Here’s an introduction:
Life is not about getting rid of problems, it’s about finding better problems. It’s not about avoiding failure, it’s about getting better at failure. It’s not about knowing everything, but becoming more comfortable in not knowing anything.
January 4, 2024
Surprises
“Man is a deterministic device thrown into a probabilistic universe. In this match, surprises are expected.”
– Michael Lewis
The only thing we can truly predict in this world is that the world will be unpredictable. This can scare some people, as we naturally don’t like surprises, but acceptance is the cure.
Another way to describe this is with impermanence. The idea that everything changes, balancing, moving, and the only thing determined is our awareness of that change.
When we step back and simply observe the world around us, we see impermanence in everything, from the clouds moving through the sky to the rain falling, not chasing, not transfixed.
Reflection
My understanding of surprises is that it is truly unknown, unseen, and unrecognizable, thus taking us off guard.
Like a rainstorm that comes in the middle of the day, without any notice or warning (happens quite often in the mountains really).
Surprises can be downright frustrating too as we get older we want little to no surprises, and then get flustered and confused when they arise.
Surprises can be scary, say when we lose a loved one or find ourselves a near-death experience, and have to re-write our narrative in the aftermath.
Surprises can be wonderful and joyous when we see someone we haven’t in years get a new job or are gifted something we’ve always wanted (likely during the holidays right now).
But what surprises me about surprises is how surprised we are so often in our world today.
I can’t think of any other time in human history when humans have been so distracted, so transfixed, and so dull, it’s surprising.
Awareness of ourselves and the world around us doesn’t diminish the surprises, it gravitates them, to a state of real connection, like when the surprise of a gift is received and is cherished or when the surprise of a death is felt so deeply and remembered.
Encouragement
In mindfulness, surprises will still come and go, but there is a pattern of rolling with the punches (and kisses) if you will.
I encourage us to seek understanding and empathy in our surprises, even when they frustrate, scare, enlighten, or brighten us.
Try today to pause, even if it’s for 5 minutes, and follow the breath naturally changing in your body.
Thanks
I have been planning a drastic change in my life that in time would leave this blog and newsletter at a standstill for a while. I have been planning to thru-hike some of the longest trails in the US, embarking on a journey that anyone can follow on YouTube and Instagram.
Thank you so much for reading my rambling, thinking mind. You can find all of my posts on the blog and even search for keywords and as always can support me over at buymeacoffee.com/mindfulnessand if you feel so inclined. Thank you in advance!
Links
December 29, 2023
Gadgets
“Love people and use things because the opposite never works.”
– Joshua Fields Millburn
Growing up in a sprawling suburbia, I would spend so much money, time, energy, and attention span on Amazon, Walmart, and just shopping online.
My father used to remark on all the ‘gadgets’ I had accumulated through the years, saying how ridiculous they all were, which I can look back on now and appreciate.
The useful and purposeful ‘gadgets’ I found were only about 10% of the ‘gadgets’ I spent hard-earned money obtaining.
It was a small problem when I was spending more than I was making and a big problem when I was making more money just to spend it on shit I truly didn’t need.
I look back today and think, how could I be so consumed with consumption? How could I not have seen the trajectory of this behavior leading ever deeper into a hole of debt and depression?
Reflection
And then, on a crisp summer afternoon in college, I was flipping through Netflix (mindlessly) until a title caught my attention, ‘MINIMALISM: A Documentary About The Important Things’
I thought, “Well that sounds interesting, I’m filled with a lot of unimportant things in my life right now and I kinda need answers to this dilemma” (which I assumed it would provide).
And boy did the now cult favorite independent film provide answers, but not in the way you would think.
It was after that movie, after the tears of realization and reflection, that I’d been living my life all wrong, and after talking it out with my friends and family I decided to make a change (but I’ll get back to that).
This movie lays the groundwork for a philosophy that has been around for thousands of years and is really just an evolved term for intentional living or valued-based living (a way of life that used to be incredibly commonplace).
Minimalism itself is not a new idea: the concept dates back to the Stoics, to every major religion, and, more recently, to Emerson, Thoreau, and Tyler Durden. What’s new is the problem: never before have people been more seduced by materialism, and never before have people been so willing to forsake loved ones to acquire heaps of meaningless stuff.
For most of history, people didn’t even think about having more than they needed because they didn’t have the means to accumulate stuff and were therefore content with what they had.
But during the industrial revolution, modern marvels became cheaper and cheaper to make, therefore cheaper and cheaper to price.
It took just eight or so years for the smartphone to become both cheap enough for anyone to buy and accessible enough for anyone to get.
But in the wake of this paradigm shift in society, towers and towers of waste began to form (evidently the main byproduct of modern capitalism).
I saw, for the first time, that waste was thrown out and piled up everywhere (literally and metaphorically). And once I saw it, I could not unsee it.
I had been so consumed in shopping for shit I never needed that I did not see the shit lying all around me, the same stuff I was spending so much money on.
I had had enough, so I did three things that fateful afternoon:
1. I took on the minimalist challenge to sell, give, or try and recycle all the shit that I did not value.
2. I started writing about my decision and the implications it had on me, which led to this very blog!
3. I changed my spending habits to reflect my values, vowing to be mindful of where, when, and how I consume anything.
It has been a rocky road since then and I have not been entirely faithful to those rules I set, but for the most part, I have remained changed at my core.
It was also through the practice of focused attention that I began to see the train before it departed, with all its gadgets and gizmos (as my father would say).
Encouragement
I encourage us to ask the hard questions today, questions like, “Is this stuff lying around me both useful and valued in my eyes?” or “How long have I even used this thing?”
List those things that you probably should get rid of, sell, or recycle. If you share a lot of that stuff, write the list together with your partner.
A million excuses will get in your way, but trust me, it is better to begin this questioning earlier than later when you suddenly open your eyes in retirement to the fact you have so much stuff.
Through deeper questioning, we find deeper meaning and begin to shape our lives in new ways.
Thanks
I am thankful for the minimalists and their continuous influence on me to live a more intentional life.
And I am thankful for all who continue to read this blog, to which I have really just begun, thanks for taking this journey with me!
As always, feel free to leave a comment or share this post. You can also Buy Me a Coffee if you are inclined to do so. Thank you in advance!
Links
November 30, 2023