Mindfulness &

how to be aware in an unaware world

Tag: love

  • Mothers

    Mothers

    The only genuine way I know to start this post is to describe my own mother and the unsurmountable influence she has had in my life, through the delicate medium of words and photography.

    My mother had a saying that always reflected her firm commitment to her faith and reminds me to this day to let go when all seems lost:

    “God is good all the time, all the time God is good.”

    She chose to accept that the goodness of God is always there, especially when we don’t see it. She would say that all the shit we experience in life, that it isn’t God, it’s the world, though we frequent the notion God is responsible for most of our troubles.

    It’s hard to describe the impact and influence of a good mother. My mother, Diane Jane Elston, is a rare force for good in this world. She speaks with kindness, listens without judgment, and moves with deliberation.

    Her influence on me cannot be understated. She has helped shape who I am, and I will forever be grateful for that.

    Growing up, my mother would take me on all kinds of adventures: skiing, hiking, biking, running, swimming, and pretty much anything outdoors. She wanted me to experience everything she loved, and started when I wasn’t even able to walk.

    My mother grew up in the unforgiving Arizona desert and went to college in Colorado, where there was a lot of room and encouragement for outdoor activity.

    She also grew up with two brothers that were always daring her to do something stupid, which led to many visits to the hospital, but also a go-get-it attitude that I can say I’ve partially inherited (minus the hospital visits luckily).

    In fact, my mother has had so many accidents in her life, that she could probably recall twenty off the top of her head. For example, one time she had a full-sized stingray barb go clean through her foot! Exciting eh! Or another time she fell down a full flight of marble stairs, encasing her head  in the drywall, losing her sense of taste and smell instantly (it was a frightful time for the whole family).

    Even more frightening and a true test of faith for my mother and the whole family was when she spent half a year in hospitals with stage three cervical carcinoma cancer, teetering on the brink of death.

    Still she said,
    “God is good all the time, all the time God is good.”

    Just hearing these stories makes me feel so grateful I’m not in her shoes, free of the many injuries or maladies she has experienced.

    Even through it all though, my mother’s warm and accepting demeanor might make breaking every bone worth trading places.

    My mother was more than a wild, fun explorer, she was also a writer (admittedly a more experienced and successful one than me).

    As a young mother of three, while studying to become a speech therapist, my mother wrote the most captivating children’s book inspired by her two young, rambunctious nephews.

    In the story, the two explorative brothers build a rocket, travel deep into space, discover strange worlds, meet friendly aliens, and find the meaning of life for themselves (basically every child’s dream).

    The story was so captivating that as a child, upon falling asleep I would vividly dream of the same adventure, lost in a blissful state of space exploration.

    One day, I intend to get it published, because it’s way too good not to be read by millions of children (and parents).

    In the photos above, I wanted to display my mother as I have seen her over the years.

    In one photo, we had just climbed Manitou Springs in Garden of the Gods, Colorado. I instinctually snap a quick photo before finding the shade of a nearby tree to picnic under.

    The incline is, well, not an easy one, and according to my mother, there is no “slow” hiking. As I mentioned, my mother has been taking me on hikes and adventures my whole life, either on her back or by her side.

    Nowadays, I can beat her up the mountain with no trouble, but I would rather stay by her side too.

    In another photo, my mother is with my father in the hospital fighting cancer, still holding on to a bright smile even through suffering intense pain. You see, my mother has never been scared of death, she has a faith like none I’ve ever witnessed before.

    She says,
    “For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible and for those who believe, no proof is necessary.”

    In many of the photos you see this same bright smile and genuine kindness.

    I wish the whole world could meet my Mom, though she’s never been one for the limelight, she’s just a simple natured giver that prefers one on one interactions.

    Even so, I hope I was able to capture just some of that nature in this post and share it with the world.

    More on Mothers:

    1. The Incredible Importance of Mom. (read)
    2. ‘Mama’s boy’ is not an insult. (listen)
    3. Why are mothers important? (watch) 

    Thank you deeply for your time and attention reading this post, it is a rare gift these days. Feel free to comment, like, or share it. You can also support me by Buying Me A Coffee. Thank you in advance!

  • Phones

    Phones

    I’m going to give us a challenge you might have disregarded before. Leave your phone at home, turn it off for a few hours, or even the entire day.

    First, if your answer to reading this is: “There’s no way to do that, I have work, kids, priorities, responsibilities, and, and…”, then it’s probably a good time to think about how much freedom you have in your everyday life.

    Second, if your answer is: “I can’t be away from my phone too long, what if there’s an emergency, what if someone needs to reach me, what if, what if…”, then I can assure you, people will dial 911 in a real emergency, not you. You’re not a 911 operator. And even if you are, you’re off work, enjoy the nearest park!

    During your time away from your phone and all its apps, notice the way you feel when you don’t have access to your phone.

    Do you feel naked or vulnerable? Do you feel out of control for some reason? Do you constantly think about doing something on your phone?

    Note your experience without any judgment.

    The idea here is to fill only some of the time away from your phone with other activities like exercise, conversation, doodling, skydiving, or even reading.

    Although it might be a great time to do those things, use some of the time to experience and note what the mind gravitates towards.

    I’ll admit it, I love my phone! The numerous apps on my phone help me with nearly everything: navigation, meditation, shopping, research, entertaining, gaming, exercise, and calling people from around the world; all via a quick tap on a bubbly, colorful, addicting icon.

    Our many black mirrors are dual-edged swords that can either be used as a tool or as a distraction.

    Apps have been ingrained in our lives, transforming the way we interact and relate to one another.

    Even our language has changed in accordance with the popular apps available today: “Can you call an Ube?” or “Let’s find an Airbnb!”

    The way we approach these apps changes how we interact with them, and how we interact with them changes our entire experience in life.

    **This has nothing to do with anything, but I’m currently reading Kurt Vonnegut’s A Man Without A Country, which he wrote at 84 years old if I’m not mistaken (this is surprising because he was a chain smoker and should have died at like age 64). I highly recommend you read Kurt Vonnegut, it will change your life.**

    Okay, back to the topic, and the utterly important question in life: “Why?”

    Why do we look, listen, and create what we do through our apps?

    Why do we pick up our phones as soon as we wake up, instead of having a phone-less morning? (I highly recommend a phone-less morning, you’ll thank me after about a week.)

    Why do we also stay up way later than we intended to, staring at a bright rectangle screen, insisting we will go to sleep in just five more minutes? (I’m convinced YouTube is the black hole at the center of the digital universe.)

    Remember, mindfulness is the deliberate act of noticing the present moment in an open and kind way, without judgment or criticism. And some carefully developed apps can evoke us to be more mindful.

    Some apps are infamous for taking us away from the present, like Facebook’s contentious newsfeed or TikTok’s infinite scrolling.

    While many other apps are tools for bettering ourselves, like Headspace, All Trials, Better Help, Sleep Cycle, Maps, and FaceTime (which I use almost every day).

    Being part of a generation where apps have made as much of an impact as books did on the previous generation, I feel a strange calling to the little, bubbly icons.

    I actually feel my life has changed in a positive way and spurred the creation of this blog through an app called Headspace (back when it was just starting out).

    It is because our phones have so much power to change every aspect of our lives, that time spent away from that power could be some of the best time spent!

    Five More Things:

    1. A great list of apps on how to beat stress with meditation.
    2. An in-depth review of the app that transformed how I view the world, Headspace.
    3. Here is a list of great meditation apps from Mindful Organization.
    4. Seven simple ways you can practice mindfulness with your technology platforms by HuffPost.
    5. Five easy ways to do a Digital Detox by Psychology Today.

    Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this post or more reading, you can consider Buying Me A Coffee.